With This Ring
by piratewench78
Summary: Rayna Jaymes has two engagement rings and one big decision to make. Who will she choose?
1. Chapter 1

_**I really meant to take a long break from writing, but, like many of you, I'm anxious to see how the finale gets resolved. And so this story came into my head. I've been staying away from the other fics that are based on what happens after the finale so that I don't unconsciously "borrow" from someone else. Any similarities to any other story are purely coincidental.**_

Rayna woke with a start, wide awake but disoriented. The covers were wrapped around her, the fan making a slight whirring sound overhead. The light coming in through the sheer curtains lit up the room. She blinked a few times and then remembered where she was.

Tarifa, Spain. The southernmost part of Spain, less than an hour's ferry ride from Morocco. Off the grid. Tandy had recommended it. Rayna smiled to herself. Tandy was right. It was definitely off the grid. It had been a long flight. Nashville to Atlanta, then Paris, then Malaga. One night there, then a couple hours' drive along the Mediterranean to this small beach town. It was day two in Tarifa and it had been amazing. This place was exotic yet simple, with amazing beaches and simple but delicious food. She was completely turned off from the world. Bucky had been a little apprehensive about that – she would be gone for two weeks – but it was the perfect time to be away. Her tour was wasn't starting for a month, Juliette was in the studio working on her album, Bucky and Avery Barkley were listening to demo tapes so that she could listen to only the best when she got back.

Rayna sat up, moving the pillows behind her back. She was still wrapped in the covers. She was alone. She was actually okay with that. A lot had happened since that crazy night at LP Field, not so long ago. She hadn't really taken the time to reflect back on all that had happened. She'd been too busy living it. It was good to have some quiet time to reflect. Finally.

She wanted to sit out on the balcony in the sun, she decided, so she got up and padded over to the closet. She hoped no one walked in on her while she was standing there naked. She poked around quickly and found a pretty caftan that Tandy had given her and slid it over her head. She thought about slipping on a pair of panties but the caftan was floor length and she decided she didn't need them.

She heated up water in the coffee carafe and made herself a cup of tea, then opened the door to the balcony. The sun was bright so she put on a pair of sunglasses. She walked to the edge of the balcony and watched the windsurfers in the distance for a moment. She smiled to herself and then sat on the small covered balcony with a view of the sea, propping her feet on the chair across from her.

_This is heaven_, she thought. She felt enveloped in her own little soft cocoon of privacy. She sipped her tea and thought back to standing on the stage at LP Field, still floating on the high of the crowd noise and basking in the glow of a successful show, finishing it with the duet with Luke. And then it had all turned surreal, when Luke had taken off his hat, gotten down on one knee, and asked her to marry him. It was a big gesture and she was overwhelmed. For a second, she wasn't sure what to do.

But he was her future. She'd told him that and she'd believed it. He was who she wanted in her life. He understood her and he was stable and safe. She had told him she loved him. And so she said yes, without a second thought. This was everything she wanted. Even though it was all a little fast, why not? It was right.

After she got home that night, she was still caught up in the magic of it. She hadn't really registered how subdued Maddie and Daphne were as they hurried off with Teddy. Tandy had given her a quick hug and then rushed off with Bucky, without saying much to her. She would talk to all of them the next day.

The knock on her door had surprised her. That it was Deacon had somehow not. But by the time he'd left, her head was spinning. She had felt like her whole world had shifted. He had told her he was ready now, to be a husband and a father, that they were meant to be together, that they could be a family – Maddie, Daphne, and the two of them. And he'd put the ring back in her hand. The one he'd given her the night he'd asked her to marry him all those years ago, when he really hadn't been ready. The night that had started them inevitably on this path. The night they had made Maddie.

She had walked back to her bedroom and sat at her vanity. She laid her left hand on the cool granite and looked down at it, at the enormous ring that, if she was honest, was almost gaudy. It was beautiful, no doubt about it, stunning actually. It was so Luke. Big, over the top, grand. That was Luke, for sure. She wiggled her fingers and the diamond glittered and took her breath away. It was a promise of a happy life and it was all she could have hoped for.

Then she opened her right hand, clasped tightly around Deacon's ring. He had put it in her left hand, probably by design, when he'd told her he should never have taken it back from her, that it was hers. She turned her hand and dropped the ring on the counter, then picked it up between her thumb and index finger. It was certainly not as glamorous as the ring Luke had given her. It was a silver band, with swirls of tiny diamonds around it. She had thrown it on the floor at the cabin after finding Deacon passed out on the couch. Before she'd left that day, she'd seen it glittering on the floor and picked it up, almost mindlessly dropping it in her purse as she ran out the door. She'd put it in a small velvet drawstring bag and hid it in her underwear drawer, someplace Teddy would never look. She pulled it out every day for a long time, until she decided that she was done crying over what she'd lost.

When she'd given the ring to Deacon that night at the crash site, she'd meant the gesture as a symbol that they were done. She had kept it all those years, wondering if maybe they would have a chance to use it, but after all that had happened after their confrontation at the CMA's, she was determined never to be hurt by him again.

What she'd forgotten, though, was that at some point either he or Maddie would want to explore their relationship. And when that happened, everything changed. Deacon changed. He had worked hard to be a good father to Maddie. She saw what she'd always hoped for and thought she never would. But she had not wanted to risk her heart again, so she'd turned to Luke. Things had been turned upside down after Maddie had posted her video and they'd had to face the media over her paternity. That's when she found herself wondering. But she tamped it down. It would do no good to go backwards. She needed to move forward with her life.

She had scarcely slept that night. Every time she tried closing her eyes, she saw the bright lights inside the stadium and Luke down on one knee and that ring. That ring! It was enormous and flashy and…so not her. But there it was. And he was putting it on her finger and she felt giddy in that moment. She knew things had moved pretty fast, but she was forty-two now, she wasn't a twenty-something. And when things felt good, you didn't have to wait around, you just jumped all in. And that's what she'd done. And she'd felt good about it. Well, until Deacon came to the house.

She could still hear his words. _Something changed. Me. You and me, Ray. That's how it's s'posed to be. It's Maddie and Daphne and you…and me._ She felt an ache deep in her heart. _I can be a husband now. And I can be a father._ She could still see his face, his eyes, the yearning, the confidence, the emotion. She'd felt it too. She couldn't deny it. There had been times since the accident when they had seemed so close to letting each other back in. But there would be a phone call or Megan would walk in or there would be an unkind remark from Scarlett and she'd pull back into her protective shell. Every time he'd ever told her he had changed or he was better or things were different, she'd always been disappointed. He'd broken her heart so many times that she didn't think she could let him do it again.

He had kissed her. She had felt the longing, the sweetness, the possessiveness, the knowing, all in one kiss. He wanted her back, he wanted to woo her, he knew he owned her, although not in an overbearing way, but in a soul-to-soul way, and he knew her, better than anyone knew her. Thinking about that kiss reminded her of the way she'd felt when he'd done it. Her own yearning, in spite of herself, her own need, that she thought she'd extinguished forever. When he'd pulled back, she had reached back for him, but he'd given her the ring instead. And left, to let her decide.

She had laid there, her eyes wide open, knowing that the flashy 7-carat diamond lay on the bedside table next to her. And the simple silver band with its swirls of tiny diamonds was back in its little drawstring bag, lying on top of her stack of underwear, where she would see it every day. She had no idea what she was going to do. Actually, that wasn't completely true. She was probably going to marry Luke. What she didn't know was how she was going to tell Deacon.

* * *

Rayna took another sip of tea and sighed. What was supposed to be easy had turned complicated. But she couldn't put all the blame on Deacon. The rest of the fallout started the next day, first with a phone call from Teddy.

"Hey, Rayna."

"Hey. What time are you bringing the girls home?"

"We're leaving soon. But I wanted to give you a heads up."

Rayna frowned. "About what?"

Teddy sighed. Rayna thought she heard the hint of annoyance. "They're not happy, Rayna."

Rayna took a breath. "Because we didn't talk to them about getting engaged first? Well, that's because I didn't know that was happening. If I'd known that's what Luke wanted to do, I would have talked to them first."

"That's part of it. A big part of it, actually. But they're just not happy, period."

She rolled her eyes. "I understand about Maddie, I guess. But Daphne loves Luke."

"Maybe as a boyfriend, Rayna, but this is all too much, too soon. They were really taken off guard by this."

"Teddy…."

"Rayna, they've been through hell this year. Everything with Deacon, your accident, that you almost died, the divorce, Peggy and Lamar dying. And now this. It's just too much for them."

"We'll work through it." Rayna felt a ripple of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. Yes, it was all very sudden, but she had thought the girls liked Luke. Daphne, anyway. It made her nervous to know that Daphne was unhappy too. She kind of understood about Maddie; after all, she was really developing a close relationship with Deacon and she'd been asking questions. It was a big move for all of them and it pained her to realize she had not paid attention to their feelings.

"How could he have thought this was the right way to do this? In front of the girls like that?" Rayna could hear Teddy's anger through the phone.

"I don't know, Teddy. I guess he got caught up in the moment." She knew she was making excuses for Luke. It really was on both of them to have prepared the girls for this possibility. She wondered if he'd even talked to his own kids about his plans.

Teddy laughed unkindly. "I seriously doubt that, Rayna. That was an awfully big ring to just pull out of his hat because he was 'in the moment'. Doesn't he have kids too? Didn't he think that it might not be a bad idea to get everyone on board first?"

"Teddy, we'll work it out. I get it. The girls were surprised. I'm sorry. I'll talk to them when you bring them home."

"Just know they're pretty upset."

Rayna felt her own annoyance flare up. "I get it, Teddy," she firmly. "I'll see you soon." And she hung up. She sat down at the counter and rubbed her temples. Everything that seemed so magical the night before, now looked troubling in the light of day. Her phone buzzed again. She picked it up and saw that it was Luke. "Hey, babe," she said with a smile.

"How's my little woman this morning?" he said cheerfully. "All set to be Mrs. Luke Wheeler? We've got a lot of planning to do."

Rayna winced a little at the 'little woman' comment, but let it go. "We don't have to do everything right now. Teddy just called and he's bringing the girls home. They're a little out of sorts about everything and I think they need some time to get used to things."

"Aw, they'll get over it. All little girls like planning parties and weddings. They'll be right as rain in no time once they start helping you plan things."

Rayna frowned. "Well, it's more than just a wedding, babe. It's a new life and a new family.

"And we'll start getting that Brady Bunch thing going now. So, anyway, Sage and Colt are still asleep, so I was thinking maybe we'd all come over after lunch and everyone can get to know each other and we'll start to form this big old happy family by setting the date. Whaddaya say?"

Rayna tried to smile. She was worried about Luke pushing the wedding date thing. "Okay. I'm looking forward to meeting Sage finally."

Luke chuckled. "She's quite the diva, but don't let that scare you. She'll love you to death, I know. Just like Colt."

Rayna wasn't sure Colt 'loved her to death', but she was willing to wait and see. It would be good for all the kids to get to know each other better and maybe this would help to mend some of the fences for Maddie and Daphne about the engagement, if they were really as upset as Teddy claimed. "We'll look forward to it," she said, her voice positive, although she didn't feel as confident as she made herself sound.

"Be thinking about dates," Luke said as he hung up.

Rayna put the phone down. She wasn't sure what the rush was to set a date. She thought they needed to take some time to start bonding as a family first, then they could plan the wedding. She didn't really think they needed to be in such a hurry.

* * *

Rayna was sitting in the den drinking tea when the back door opened and then slammed shut. "Mom!" Maddie shouted, her voice brittle with anger. "Mom, where are you?"

Rayna stood up to see her daughters, both their faces screwed up fiercely. She watched Maddie slam her overnight bag on the floor and Daphne followed, copying everything her older sister was doing. "Hey, girls," she said, putting her performance face on, hoping she could soothe them.

Maddie stomped over. "How could you do that? How could you agree to marry someone else?"

"Yeah," Daphne piped up, rushing up to stand with her sister. "Without even telling us. That was wrong."

Rayna raised her eyebrows. "I know it was a surprise, but it was for me too." She gestured towards the couch. "Why don't we sit down and we can talk about it?"

Maddie gave her an incredulous look. "Talk about it? Seriously? I hate this, Mom. I totally hate this."

Rayna frowned. "Maddie, that's not fair. Let's talk about it first."

"No. If you marry him, I'm going to live with Dad." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her mother.

Daphne looked up at Maddie with a mix of surprise and fear. "Wait a minute," she said. "Which dad?"

Maddie looked down at her sister and took a deep breath. "I don't know. Deacon, I guess."

Daphne's eyes filled with tears. "Don't leave me here," she whispered.

Rayna watched the exchange with a mix of horror and dread. "Hey!" she said firmly. "There's not going to be any talk of going somewhere else to live. We're a family. No one's going anywhere."

Daphne looked up at her, sadness all over her face. "Everything is all messed up," she cried. "I don't want things to change."

Maddie reached out and pulled Daphne into a hug. She gave Rayna an angry look that took her breath away. Rayna walked over and put her arms around her girls. "That's enough of this kind of talk. I know you weren't expecting this, and I'm sorry for that, but Luke and I are going to get married and we need to talk about that and what's next."

Maddie shook her head firmly and pulled away. "I don't want to talk about it. This is all wrong. He's not our family." Her face turned to one of pleading. "Please don't do this, Mom. Please." Then she turned, picked up her bag, and stalked off to her room.

Rayna stood watching her, her heart hurting. Daphne looked up at her, tears running down her face. "Don't let her go, Mom," she said.

Rayna pulled her younger daughter close. "It's going to be okay, Daphne. We'll work everything out. I promise." But she wondered if that was really possible. With everything else going on, how were they going to find time to fix their family? And then she thought about the fact that the girls didn't know about Deacon's visit and his proposal. This was all such a mess. She sighed and, taking Daphne's hand, walked upstairs to Maddie's room.

* * *

She had not been able to soothe Maddie and Daphne's anger before Luke and his kids came over. They were both stubbornly opposed to any changes in their lives. Rayna felt at a loss as to what to do next. She hadn't expected them to be so entrenched in their feelings about her and Luke. Her stomach was in knots wondering what to do.

Meeting Sage and seeing Colt again had been a disaster. Rayna had been a little shocked when she saw Luke's daughter. She was tall and rail thin, her hair an obviously dyed inky black, shaved on the left side with a hot pink stripe. She wore goth makeup and painted her nails black. She was dressed all in black and looked both sad and angry. Rayna wasn't sure if the makeup was having that effect or if she was just a typical teenager. She prayed silently to herself that her girls would not be intrigued by that. She needn't have worried.

Sage had ended up pissing off all of them. She'd asked Maddie if she'd bought her clothes at Goodwill and called Daphne a munchkin. Rayna had been stunned speechless at her rudeness and was even more shocked that Luke laughed it off as Sage being her "diva self" and told them all to go get acquainted. Colt had looked annoyed to even be there and had sulkily followed the girls, his headphones not leaving his head.

Rayna had turned to Luke, her eyes flashing. "Babe, that didn't start off well at all," she started.

Luke grabbed her in his arms. "Come on, sweetheart, that's just how girls talk to each other. Let's let them get to know each other and it'll all be good." He pulled her close and kissed her. "I want to spend some time with my brand new fiancée." He nuzzled her neck and kissed her again. "I hated leaving you last night. I missed you."

Rayna let herself relax a bit. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him back. "I missed you too, babe," she said, pushing away the memory of Deacon's visit.

"I want to set a date for this big old shindig of a wedding," Luke said, a big smile on his face.

Rayna smiled a little. "Babe, we really don't have to do this right away. The kids need to get to know each other and we have plenty of time to do this. Besides, I'm going to be going out on tour soon, so why don't we wait until after that."

"I don't want to wait, Rayna. I'm going out on tour too and I really want you to go with me."

"You mean for us to tour together?"

"Well, sort of. I want you to come with me and you can come out and sing a couple numbers and we can do our theme song 'Ball and Chain' for our fans." He smiled broadly.

"That sounds nice, Luke, but I really need to tour myself to promote my album. Why don't we wait until after that?"

"We can still go ahead and get married. And I guess we could blend our tours somehow." He didn't sound enthusiastic. "Anyway, I've already got a wedding planner working on possible locations big enough for the country music wedding of the century. All we need to tell her is a date."

Rayna took a step back. "Wait. You've already got a wedding planner?"

"Sure. I hired her a couple weeks ago when I dreamed up this idea to surprise you. Course, I didn't know then you'd have that big concert, so that just worked out even better."

Rayna didn't have time to respond because right then Daphne stormed into the kitchen, her face an uncharacteristic storm cloud of anger. She frowned. "What's wrong, baby girl?" she asked.

Daphne stomped her foot. "I can't do it! I won't do it!" she shouted. "I can't spend one more minute with that…that Sage!" She crossed her arms over her chest and looked angrily back and forth between her mother and Luke.

Rayna looked horrified but Luke burst out laughing. "What's that diva girl done now, little lady?" he asked jovially.

"She thought our song was awful and she laughed at Maddie's guitar," Daphne said, glowering at the two adults. "She's _not_ nice. At all."

Luke walked over to her and mussed her hair a little. "Ah, she's just being cranky, Daphne. She tells me she hates my music all the time. And my boots and my guitar too." He smiled and whispered loudly. "She's a _teenager_!"

Daphne's face softened a little. "Well, maybe," she said. Then she frowned again. "But she still isn't nice." She looked over at Rayna. "And, Mom, Maddie's locked up in her room now. She won't let me in."

It had been a disaster of an afternoon, Rayna remembered. It had gotten increasingly worse until finally Luke took Sage and Colt home. He had apologized profusely and told her later that his ex-wife was trying to ruin his relationship with them. He had seemed so unhappy and miserable about it, that she had softened her opinion of the two sulky teenagers. And she had gotten past being annoyed with Luke for having tried to excuse it. Unfortunately, Maddie and Daphne did not change their opinions, which didn't help the situation.

* * *

Rayna and Tandy had had lunch the next day on the patio overlooking the pool. It had been a crazy morning, complete with a testy meeting about Juliette's song choices for her album and a call from Luke's wedding planner to ask about wedding venues.

"Actually, she's _pushing_ me to make a decision," Rayna complained to her sister.

"Do you even have a date set?" Tandy asked.

Rayna shook her head. "Luke's been pushing me to do that, too, but I don't know why it's so important to decide that right this second. We just got engaged, for crying out loud, and I'd like to just settle into that for a little while." She sighed as she picked at her salad. "You'll never believe the choices that woman gave me." She gave Tandy a knowing look.

Tandy raised her eyebrows. "Oh, babe, not the country club." Rayna nodded solemnly and Tandy burst out laughing. "Oh, my. Mom would be rolling over in her grave."

Rayna smirked. "I know. The other places she mentioned are equally over the top. Fontanel. Belle Meade Plantation. The Ryman."

"The Ryman?!" Tandy looked surprised. "I didn't know you could get married there."

"Well, it _is_ the Mother Church of Country Music." She rolled her eyes. "And Luke says we're country music royalty so we should consider it." She shook her head. "I'd rather just go to the county courthouse. I don't want a big to do."

"Why is he making such a big deal about it? It's not like he hasn't been married before."

Rayna's eyes flitted away and then back at her sister. "I think it has to do with Deacon."

Tandy sat back in her chair. "Deacon? Why in the world would he care about Deacon?"

"Well, I guess he had a crush on me when we were all just starting out. But, you know, I was with Deacon then. And I guess all I ever talked about then was Deacon."

Tandy let out a sharp laugh. "Well, that is definitely true."

Rayna made a face. "Anyway, I guess it's just a big deal to him for us to be together now. Like, I don't know, like he won or something." She laid her fork down and put her hands in her lap.

Tandy frowned at the sad look on her sister's face. "Was this a contest? I thought Deacon was seeing someone else anyway."

Rayna shrugged. "He was. But it didn't work out." Her voice trailed off and she looked down at her hands. "And then things got…complicated."

"Rayna, don't tell me…."

"No." Rayna looked up. "Nothing happened, really. I mean, like we didn't get together or anything. But Deacon came by that night after the show. And he kind of proposed too.

Tandy gasped. "What do you mean, 'kind of proposed'? What does that even mean?"

Rayna looked up at the sky with a tortured look on her face. "He said he was ready to be a husband. And a father. That he could love me now the way I had always wanted him to."

Tandy grabbed Rayna's hand. "What did you say?" she whispered.

"Nothing. He gave me back the ring and told me to think about it."

"How do you feel?"

Rayna's face was a mix of confusion and pain. "I don't know. I mean, I love Luke. I do. I think that being with him is a good thing. But he's pushing me to get married so quickly and I'm not comfortable with that."

"What about Deacon?"

Rayna shook her head sadly. "I don't know. I want to believe him. He's been so good with Maddie, so he has changed. But it scares me. If something happens and he goes back in the cycle, it will destroy all of us. He thinks he's ready. But he's thought that before. And he wasn't. So…."

Tandy gave her a look of compassion and squeezed her hand. "Don't make any big decisions, sweetheart. Not right now. You're right to want to take a little time and not rush a wedding. Any wedding."

* * *

It ended up being several days before Rayna talked to Deacon again. She had called him and asked him to meet her. As she drove over, she considered the fact that they knew each other so well, so _intimately_, that she hadn't even had to name the place.

When she got there, he was waiting. Neither of them said a word as she climbed up on the table to sit beside him. He had looked down and then taken her left hand, ring-less. He had looked up into her eyes, his eyebrows raised, both a question and hope reflected there. She had smiled then, a smile tinged with sadness, and thought about how they could speak to each other without words.

"I'm just not sure, Deacon," she said, watching the slight dip of her shoulders at her words. "But it's not fair for me to wear that…with you." She looked away.

Deacon frowned. "I don't understand. Why are we here?"

She looked back at him. "I'm scared, Deacon. How many times have you told me you had changed, that things were different? I want to believe you, truly I do, but it's not just me that could be hurt and disappointed this time if it's not real. There's Maddie and Daphne too."

Deacon looked down, hitching his shoulders. Then he looked off in the distance. "What do I have to do to prove to you this time is different? That it's the real deal?"

Rayna sighed. "I don't know." She shrugged. "Maybe it's not anything _you_ need to do. Maybe it's me." She clasped her hands and looked down at them, a lump forming in her throat that made it hard to talk. "Maybe I need to have faith in you," she choked out. "But I'm just really scared."

They were silent for long minutes. Finally Deacon said, quietly, "What do you want to do, Ray?"

Rayna took a deep breath. "I want to believe in you," she whispered.

Deacon sighed. "What makes you not want to let go of…him?"

She shrugged. "There isn't that history. There's nothing to overcome. It's easy."

He looked at her sharply. "Like Teddy?"

She looked away. That hit close to home. "Maybe. But it's different. My feelings for Teddy were different than my feelings for Luke. And, you know, the circumstances are different."

Deacon worked his lip before he finally spoke again. "Do you love him?"

Rayna took a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess."

Deacon sucked in his breath. "Do you love me?"

Rayna sat up straight and blinked, her eyes tearing. Her chest hurt. "I'll always love you, Deacon," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "I'm just wondering if that's enough."

He took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "So you're picking the big, flashy ring? Is that really what you want, Ray? For the rest of your life? For you and the girls?" His voice was a mix of hurt and anger.

She felt so confused, so torn. "It's not that simple," she said, trying not to cry. "There's a lot to consider. A lot to still consider." She looked at him, her eyes filled with hurt. "Please don't say anything to Maddie right now. This is all so complicated, for me and for the girls. I need to deal with this one piece at a time."

Deacon nodded, his own eyes filling with tears. "I won't tell her." He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he stopped. Then he leaned over to her, put his hand on her cheek, and kissed her. He lightly tugged on her lip and she opened her mouth to his and returned the kiss. Then he pulled away. "Don't give up on us, Ray," he whispered, and then he got up off the table, turned, and walked back up to his truck.

Rayna turned to watch him walk away, her hand covering her mouth, tears rolling down her cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Rayna watched as Deacon got in his truck and drove away. It had not gone the way she'd thought it would. She turned back and looked out over the river, then reached into her pocket and pulled out his ring. She took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She had intended to give it back to him. To tell him that she had chosen the safe, uncomplicated route. But she knew, as she'd sat next to him, as she'd listened to his voice, that she wasn't ready to close the door, although she wasn't quite sure why.

She slid the ring on her left ring finger and looked at it. All the tiny diamonds glittered in the sunlight. She had no idea how much it had cost Deacon back when he had bought it, but she knew it paled in comparison with the flashy 7-carat diamond ring Luke had given her. That ring was certainly beautiful, but it felt unnecessary. This simple band with its quiet embellishment had been so perfect when Deacon had first put it on her finger fifteen years ago. When she looked at it today, it simply said commitment, while that other ring said "look at me". Rayna felt conflicted and she didn't want to feel conflicted.

She found herself thinking back to the night Deacon had first given her this ring. She had broken up with him and was dating Teddy then, but she hadn't stopped loving him and she had been so sure that night that he had turned the corner. And so she'd said yes to his proposal. They had made love that night and it had felt so perfect, so complete, so right. He had curled up against her in bed later and she had fallen asleep smiling contentedly. But the bubble of happiness had been burst the next morning when she'd found him passed out on the couch in the living room, with a nearly empty bottle of whiskey beside him. She looked back down at the ring and the pain of that morning washed over her again and brought tears back to her eyes.

She had taken him back, eventually, if not romantically, at least as her friend. She'd kept him close, always wondering if, one day, things might change. But time had marched on and, even though he'd finally gotten sober, she had gotten farther and farther away from the ability to come clean with him. The attraction and the connection had never really faded though and she had finally given herself back to him, not thinking about any consequences. And when the truth about Maddie had surfaced, as she realized now it would inevitably have, he had fallen back into the cycle and she had told herself, _never again_.

So why now was she having so much trouble telling him no? Why wasn't she putting him out of his misery of waiting for her answer? Why was she letting him open that door again? She couldn't count all the times, when she was by herself, that she had slid off the rings that Teddy gave her and slid this one on. She had tortured herself for a year doing that, until she finally had made herself stop. She had buried the little velvet bag deep in her drawer where she wouldn't see it every time she opened it. But even then, there were days when she'd felt stifled in her marriage or tired of pretending a depth of love she didn't feel, and she'd pull it out and hold it in her hand. She had not put it back on until this moment. She had forgotten how it felt, like it was just an extension of her finger, with hardly any feeling of weight at all. Like it belonged. Unlike that huge, heavy ring Luke had given her the other night. The one that she couldn't help but notice, that she could never not feel on her hand.

She sighed and slid the ring back off, putting it back in her pocket. Then she got up off the bench and headed up to her car.

* * *

Rayna felt a lump in her throat as she thought about Deacon. She could only imagine how it had been for him, watching her – again – trying to make things work with someone else and not him. When she was married to Teddy, she had known he still had feelings for her. That he was still waiting for her to realize that Teddy was not who she wanted after all. She wondered what it was that had made her so unable to acknowledge her feelings back then, or at least to act on them. There was certainly a part of her that wanted, badly, to feel safe and secure, for things to be easy and comfortable. Living with, and loving, Deacon had always been like roller coaster. The highs were amazing and intoxicating, the lows were devastating and heartrending. When he had finally gotten sober, though, she had seen a different Deacon. There was still intensity and passion – and for that short time they'd been back together, it had been amazing – but without the soul-crushing despair.

She was certainly seeing that same Deacon in his second shot at sobriety. But this time it was different. There was a maturity, even beyond what she'd seen before, a focus and a purpose. She had been certain he would crumble under the weight of his new-found fatherhood, that he would not be able to deal with all that meant. She had almost been grateful, at first, that Maddie didn't seem interested in connecting with him. But once she was, it was like a freight train running through all their lives. And, to her amazement, Deacon stepped up. It had rocked her a little to realize that being a father was what made this being sober thing real for him.

She got up from the chair she was sitting in and walked back to the edge of the balcony, staring out towards the ocean and thinking about how far he'd come, about what she'd been willing to throw away. She thought about how she had avoided giving him an answer and how he'd just held his ground, waiting.

* * *

Rayna was in the kitchen when the door opened and Maddie came storming in, her face screwed up in a scowl. "Hey, Maddie, how was your weekend…." Her voice trailed off as Maddie passed her, looking over once to give her mother a look of sheer disgust, before heading up the stairs. Rayna watched her go, stunned into silence. At the sound of the door closing, she turned back to face Deacon. She sighed. "What was that about?" she asked, with a touch of annoyance.

"She didn't really want to come home," Deacon said, his voice controlled. "She's been out of sorts all weekend."

Rayna rolled her eyes and waved her hand in irritation. "Yeah, I'm not really her favorite person right now. Oh, and she wants to live with you."

Deacon shrugged and looked away for a moment. "Yeah, she did say something like that."

"And what did you tell her?"

He shook his head. "I told her she didn't need to run away from her problems. That she needed to figure out how to make all this work." He saw the anxious question in Rayna's eyes. "I didn't say anything."

Rayna looked at him sadly. "Well, thanks for that. I think we're all struggling a little bit. Daphne's sad all the time, which is so not like her. And Maddie, well, you know how Maddie is. She's acting out all the time. She's borderline rude to me and she's outright rude to Luke."

Deacon chewed on his lip for a moment, then said, "How are you?"

Rayna shrugged. "Okay, I guess." She looked away for a moment as tears threatened, willing herself to get her emotions under control. "I don't really know what to do. With her." She turned back to him and smiled sadly. "I know I need to give you an answer…."

Deacon shook his head with a wry smile. "I'm not trying to rush you."

"I know. It's just, I don't know, it's all so confusing."

"Don't let him push you to do something you don't want, Ray." The thought crossed her mind that Deacon wouldn't have pushed her to do anything she didn't want. She really wasn't sure why she hadn't just told him she was going to marry Luke and that he needed to move on with his life, without her. But she couldn't form the words, couldn't even imagine herself saying them out loud.

Just then the door opened and Luke walked in. Deacon turned to face him and Luke frowned. "Deacon. Didn't expect to see you here," he said.

Rayna could see Deacon stiffen as he put his hands in his pockets. "I was dropping Maddie off," he said, his voice tight and a little defiant.

"I see."

Deacon turned back to Rayna, who was watching the two of them nervously. "If you need anything, Ray, let me know," he said. Rayna nodded slowly. Then he turned and walked out, not even glancing at Luke.

Luke watched Deacon walk out the door, then turned back to Rayna with a scowl on his face. "Why was he here?" he asked, his voice slightly accusing.

Rayna looked down and shrugged. "He was dropping off Maddie. She had talked to him about everything and he just wanted to let me know."

Luke walked over to her. "Look, I get that he's her dad, but I don't want him interfering in our lives."

Rayna looked up at him, her eyes narrowed. "We're Maddie's parents. He's going to be in our lives. He's family."

Luke frowned. "He's not _our_ family." He paused, waiting to see if Rayna would respond, but she stayed quiet, just looking back at him without expression. He took a deep breath and then put on a more pleasant face. "Enough of that. Let's talk wedding dates and venues."

Rayna shook her head. "Luke…."

He reached for her hand. "Look, baby, I just want to get this done. It's been three weeks already. I want us to be Mr. and Mrs. Luke Wheeler, the sooner the better. The sooner we do this, the sooner we can move forward with our new life." He smiled and leaned in to kiss her.

Rayna let him take her in his arms, but she was bothered by his comments about Deacon. And she was beginning to wonder if the pleasant, stable life she had imagined she would have with him was real or just wishful thinking.

* * *

She breathed in the salty air. Back in Nashville it was starting to get muggy, but here it was pleasant. Warm but not humid, pleasant breezes. She felt like she could stay here forever, even though that wasn't practical. But Tandy's suggestion to take some time away from everything that had been going on was a good one.

Being away from the day-to-day made her realize how much she had boxed herself in. After the accident, she had consciously created a different life for herself. She had told her father that she was going to look forward from that point on and she had tried hard to do that. She had told Deacon that it was done between the two of them and had hardly given him the time of day after that. As he and Maddie grew closer, they were drawn back into each other's worlds, but she'd been careful to put him back up on the shelf after every interaction. She'd been rude to him at times, trying to solidify that separation.

She felt tears in her eyes as she realized how sharp-edged she had become where he was concerned. He had tried over and over to break down those walls with words and actions. He had spent a lot of time, obviously, thinking about everything that had happened back when she had made the decision to keep Maddie from him and he had released her from all the accountability for that. She felt some sense of regret for that, because she did realize that she wasn't blameless.

When she thought about him coming to see her that night after Luke had asked her to marry him, she wondered about the courage it had taken him to say those words, even after he had watched her accept that ring. She had been overwhelmed by how confident he was, by how sure he was that they belonged together. He had taken her breath away that night. When she had kissed him – and yes, she had most certainly kissed him back, and wanted more – she had finally opened herself up to the possibility that this change in him was real.

And yet she had still wavered. Old habits die hard and the old habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop was powerful. She could no longer count the number of times that he'd disappointed her over the years, including the night of the accident, and that always seemed to pull her back from the edge of the cliff. She pondered that, how scared she had been. And she had truly been terrified.

* * *

Rayna had been looking forward to having an evening at home with just the girls. But Maddie was still being difficult and Daphne seemed confused, unsure whether to align with her sister or her mom. The evening had ended with Maddie upstairs in her room, sulking, and Daphne and Rayna watching "Princess Bride". When the movie was over, Rayna walked Daphne upstairs to her room. She watched as her youngest daughter gazed sadly at her older sister's closed door and then sighed dramatically.

Rayna tucked Daphne in and sat on the bed with her. Daphne looked up at her forlornly. "I wish things could go back to the way they used to be," she said.

"What do you mean?" Rayna asked.

Daphne exhaled loudly. "When everybody was happy. When Maddie didn't stay cooped up in her room or mad all the time." She pouted. "I don't _like_ Luke's kids. This isn't going to be any fun at all."

Rayna looked at her daughter sadly. "Oh, baby, I don't want you to feel that way. They're just older than you and I know that's hard."

Daphne shook her head. "Maddie's older than me and she doesn't treat me like a baby. At least, most of the time." She turned puppy dog eyes on her mom. "I don't want them to come over here anymore," she whined.

Rayna didn't know what to say. She was at a loss as to how to make this better and although it pained her that both her daughters were unhappy, somehow Daphne's sadness was worse. Daphne had always been her sunny child, who always found the rainbow in every cloudy day. She wasn't snapping out of this down mood she was in and even Teddy was remarking on it. Rayna leaned in and hugged her daughter. "We'll work it all out, baby, I promise," she said soothingly.

Daphne pulled away and then rolled over on her side facing away from Rayna. "Good night, Mom," she said, her voice small.

Rayna ran her hand over Daphne's head and down her side. "Good night, baby girl. Sleep tight." She got up and pulled the covers up over Daphne and then walked to the door. She switched off the light and stood there for a moment, looking at the quiet form of her youngest daughter. She sighed and softly closed the door.

She headed down the hall and stood outside Maddie's closed door. She hesitated, then knocked lightly. "Maddie?" she called out softly.

After a few seconds went by she heard Maddie's quiet voice. "It's not locked."

Rayna opened the door. Maddie was sitting on her bed with her journal in her lap, the guitar that Deacon had given her leaning against the side of the bed. "Can I come in and talk to you?" she asked.

Maddie looked up at her, her face carefully neutral. Rayna was so struck in that moment by how much she looked like Deacon and it made her heart hurt. Maddie nodded. "I guess," she said.

Rayna walked over to the bed and moved the guitar to lean against a nearby chair. She sat on the edge of the bed and then lifted her legs up so that she could sit next to her daughter. She put her arm around Maddie's shoulders and pulled her in closer. "I wish you weren't so unhappy," she said.

Maddie leaned her head against Rayna's shoulder. "Me too," she said sadly. "I wish…" Then she sighed.

Rayna looked down at her. "You wish what?"

Maddie wrestled with her thoughts. She looked like she wanted to cry, but she took a deep breath and said, "It's my fault."

Rayna frowned. "What's your fault?"

She looked up at her mother and Rayna was surprised at the heartache she saw on Maddie's face. "If it weren't for me, you'd still be with Deacon."

Rayna's eyes widened and she swallowed hard. "We don't know that," she said, carefully.

Tears filled Maddie's eyes. "You were in love with him. You were happy. And I messed it all up," she cried.

Rayna wrapped her arms around her daughter and laid her cheek against Maddie's head. "Oh, sweet girl, don't ever think that. And we can never truly know the future."

Maddie pulled back and looked up into Rayna's eyes. "I wish you would be with him," she said softly. "When we were all on the stage together, singing 'A Life That's Good', that felt so good. It felt like a family, Mom."

Rayna sighed. It _had_ felt like a family. For the briefest of moments, she had felt like that's what she and Deacon could have been. If only he'd been sober. If only she had told him the truth. She wasn't really sure what to say to Maddie now. She was glad that Maddie didn't know about Deacon's proposal and that she actually hadn't officially closed the door on that. Finally, she said, "I'm sorry," and then just held her daughter for a very long time.

* * *

As the days wore on, Rayna found herself unable to move forward. In many ways, it felt like it had back when she had found out she was pregnant with Maddie and didn't know what to do. Initially she had felt burdened with the idea that she would have to make a life with Deacon, whom she loved, but whose spiral into addiction had destroyed their lives so many times. She was tired then. Tired of holding him up, tired of watching him slowly kill himself, wondering how she could possibly trust him to be a father to their baby. Teddy had seemed like such a calming choice. He had been disappointed to learn that he probably wasn't the father of her baby, but he had been a steady presence in her life when everything else was out of control. He had helped her pick up the pieces and craft a new life, not the one that she'd thought she'd have, but one that kept her safe and where she knew she and her daughter were loved and protected.

It had felt the same when she'd started seeing Luke. After she got out of the hospital, her life had been full of upheaval. There was finalizing the divorce from Teddy, the struggle to get her voice back, the turmoil with Maddie, and her stubborn insistence on keeping Deacon out of her life and as far from Maddie as she could manage. When Maddie had started to reach out to Deacon, Rayna had had to figure out a new safe place, and that safe place had been Luke.

It was one thing when he was a boyfriend or significant other or lover or whatever you called the man you were seeing when you were a forty-something woman with two children. But the proposal had come out of nowhere, she now realized. She had only just told Luke that she loved him and suddenly he had put the relationship into high gear. Her girls were miserable and she felt devastated as she'd realized how blindsided they had been. They weren't ready for that. When she thought about that, she blamed Luke and his somewhat off-putting jealousy of Deacon and his need to "win" her.

She felt a little guilty when she thought about that, because she certainly hadn't really reassured Luke that it was over with Deacon. Because she wasn't so sure herself that it truly was. Yes, she'd told him that it had been the most painful and tumultuous period of her life, and that was all true, but it had also been passionate and all-consuming. She had loved Deacon, truly, deeply _loved_ him. With every fiber of her being. It was a love she had never had again. _Never_. What she felt for Luke didn't feel like that. It felt more like what she'd felt for Teddy, when she was honest with herself.

Now she felt paralyzed with indecision. Her head told her one thing, but her heart was beginning to tell her something else altogether. She considered how miserable her girls were and she knew, without even discussing it with them, that if it had been Deacon instead of Luke, they would have welcomed him without hesitation. But she couldn't pull the trigger. And Luke kept pressing for a date and she kept deflecting, feeling overwhelmed.

It wasn't just Luke pressuring her to pick a venue and set a date. There were other smaller things that, taken as a whole, started adding up to real concern. Her girls and his kids continued to not get along, which led to an escalation in first Maddie wanting to go live with Deacon and then Daphne talking about living with Teddy. Luke wanted her to cut back on touring or just go out with him and sing a couple songs on his. And then there were all the times he would call her his "little woman" or his "ball and chain". Always with a wink and a smile or an indulgent chuckle, but Rayna began to bristle every time he did it. So when things had started unraveling, it had all happened surprisingly quickly.

* * *

The day when it felt like everything came to a breaking point had started off like any other day, with lots of activity around the wrapping up of Juliette's tour, Rayna's media blitz in support of her album, and putting feelers out for new artist demos. Luke had come over while she and Bucky were working on tour dates and venues. She could feel the tension in him as he stood listening to them. He wasn't saying anything, but it felt like he was dissatisfied. Bucky finally turned to him and said, "Is there something you want to contribute to this discussion?"

Luke had looked a little taken aback at first, but then Rayna watched him narrow his eyes oh-so-slightly at Bucky. "I just thought that Rayna and I were going to work out our touring schedule together so that she could be with me," he said, a hint of stubbornness in his voice.

Bucky raised his eyebrows. "No, that's not what we've been working on. Rayna has an album to support and, as you well know, that requires a lot of effort on her part. I don't think your audiences are really quite the same."

Luke had frowned. He looked down at the schedule that Bucky had and pointed to dates about eight weeks out. "Well, she can't tour then because that's when I've got the Belle Meade mansion lined up for the wedding."

Rayna had been completely taken aback. "You did what?" she cried out. "I'm going to be starting up my tour. I can't do that. And I told you that I wanted to wait." She was furious.

Luke grabbed at her hand, which she snatched away, fury sparking in her eyes. "Oh, come on, baby," Luke said, soothingly. "You can postpone your little old tour for a little bit. Besides, once you're Mrs. Luke Wheeler, you won't need to worry about that anyway. I'll take care of you."

Rayna's eyebrows flew up. "My 'little old tour'? Seriously? And I don't need you to take care of me, Luke. That's not the point of getting married. I'm fully capable of taking care of myself."

Luke gave her a look. "You're still on the edge of losing it all, baby. I think you should jump on board with me and sell Highway 65. Considering you're going to be a newlywed and all, I think you shouldn't stretch yourself too thin."

Rayna could see that Bucky was having trouble hiding his smirk and she was ready to explode. She threw her hands up in the air. "I'm _not_ selling Highway 65! I'm _not_ going to be anything other than Rayna Jaymes! And I'm _not_ getting married at Belle Meade Mansion in two months!" Her eyes were flashing with anger as she stared at Luke and she knew she was shouting. "The girls aren't even totally on board with this yet. You know that! I can't do this to them."

Luke seemed completely unfazed by her outburst. "Well, I'm not one to wait around for something. We're not young kids anymore, Rayna. If you're all in, like you said you were, then you need to be all in." He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, laughing as she pulled away. "I like you a little hot-blooded, baby. But cool down a tad and you'll see that this is all for the best." He gave Bucky a look that seemed to indicate that he needed to get Rayna under control and then he walked out the door.

Rayna wheeled around to look at Bucky. "I cannot fucking believe he just said that to me!" she raged. "I feel like I haven't known him at all."

Bucky shrugged. "I did a little digging in his background when it seemed like you were getting serious about him. Apparently this same kind of behavior is what led his wife to leave him."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Bucky shrugged. "Would you have listened?"

Rayna put her hands on her back pockets and breathed in deeply. "Probably not," she said finally. She was quiet for a moment, then looked at Bucky sadly. "I don't think this is going to work out," she said quietly.

Bucky walked over and rubbed her arm. "I think it's for the best."

* * *

Tandy told Bucky she wanted to stay and talk with her sister. "I'm really worried about her," she said quietly.

Bucky glanced at Rayna and then looked back at Tandy, nodding his head. "I wish she could resolve this. It's time to tell Mr. Luke Wheeler that it's 'wheels up' for him." It had been several days since the blow up with Luke and he had not been around. Rayna had left several messages wanting to talk to him, but he seemed to be avoiding her. Bucky and Tandy were worried. They wanted her to be able to end things with Luke so she could move on. The longer it went on, the more distracted she got.

Tandy gave him a small smile and put her hand on his arm. "You're a good friend to her, Buck. And loyal to a fault." Her look turned serious. "But this time, I have to agree with you. I thought Luke was the right guy for her in the beginning, but obviously he's not. Everything seems like it's a mess."

Bucky nodded, then leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. "I'll see you later then," he said.

She gave him a wicked smile. "Oh, yes, you will." He winked at her and left. She walked over to where Rayna was sitting, on the couch in the den reviewing paperwork. She sat down next to her sister and Rayna put the papers down on the coffee table, giving her sister a weary smile. "So. How are things?" Tandy asked.

Rayna sighed. "I can't reach Luke. I really need to talk to him, but he's not returning my calls. I think he knows what I want to talk to him about."

Tandy reached out for Rayna's hand and gave her an encouraging smile. "I'm sure he does. After the things he said, he has to know he crossed the line."

Rayna leaned her head back and took a deep breath, then looked at her sister with pain-filled eyes. "I can't believe I didn't see it. But he seemed like the perfect guy. No baggage. Someone I could count on."

"I think he was trying to be what you needed. He knew what you'd been through and he was trying to be that guy." Tandy sighed. "Except that he isn't that guy."

Tears pricked at Rayna's eyes and she blinked them back. "No, he really isn't. And I feel foolish."

Tandy shook her head. "Don't. After the accident, you had a lot to deal with. It's no wonder that you wanted someone like that. Or at least how he wanted you to see him." Tandy looked closely at her sister, who looked so defeated.

"I guess."

"I remember the night I took you to meet Deacon. After you came home from the hospital. When you got back in the car, you looked broken. It was like someone blew out a candle and all the joy in your life had gone out with it. I had hoped maybe Luke would be the one to make you happy again, but I never saw it. It was like you were going through the motions, forcing yourself to feel something you didn't. She paused. "Did you ever give Deacon an answer? Give him back the ring?"

Rayna sadly shook her head. "No, I never did. I sort of avoided it, I guess. I know it had to have hurt him."

Tandy shrugged. "I don't know, sweetheart. He's waited you out before, for a lot longer than this." She squeezed Rayna's hand. "In your heart, what _do_ you want?"

Rayna shook her head. "I don't know," she whispered.

Tandy took a deep breath. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I think you do. And instead of fighting it, I think you should let yourself go for it."

Rayna looked at her sister. "Tandy, if I choose Deacon and he breaks again, it will destroy us for good, destroy Maddie. I've been so afraid to risk it. But I do see such a change in him and I worry that if I _don't_ risk it, I'll regret not trying for what I always wanted."

Tandy squeezed her hand and smiled. "I think you've made up your mind." She reached in and hugged her sister. "I think he's finally ready to give you what you always wanted. It's taken him a long time to get here, but I have to admit that I think getting to be a dad to Maddie has made him realize what's worth fighting for. Let him prove that to you."

Rayna drew in a shaky breath and brushed away the tears. "I really have a lot to think about, you know? It's not really as simple as that."

* * *

Almost a week had gone by before Luke showed up at the house. Rayna was surprised that he came in and acted as though the argument had been nothing more than a little hiccup. "I'm sorry I pushed so hard about setting a wedding date, darlin'," he said. "We can wait if you want."

Rayna looked at him with astonishment. "Seriously, Luke? Do you not realize that it's more than just setting a wedding date?"

Luke looked surprised. "What else is it, baby? You sure seemed happy that night at LP Field when you said yes."

Rayna shook her head and walked into the den. Luke followed her and stood behind her, putting his hands on her arms. She shook him off and turned to face him, her eyes blazing. "Let's start with the fact that we never talked to our kids about this. Not to mention the fact that I had never even met Sage! Did you ever think about the fact that this affects them?"

"Kids are pretty flexible, I've found. They work it out eventually."

Rayna looked at him like he had lost his mind. "Maybe your kids do, but my girls have been through hell this past year. Teddy and I broke up, Teddy got remarried, and then his wife died. Daddy died. And let's not forget that I nearly died. This has been a really hard year for them. Did it not even cross your mind to talk to them?"

Luke narrowed his eyes. "Quite honestly, no. I didn't think it would be a big deal. I thought we all got along pretty well."

Rayna gave him a look that said 'are you kidding me?' Then she shook her head. "Teddy told me that they were devastated, standing there at LP Field, watching you propose to me. They were completely blindsided. And shame on me for not realizing it. You caught me totally off guard and what was I supposed to do standing up there in front of 50,000 people?" She threw her arms up in the air. "And you want me to stop touring, or at least cut back. Sell my label. Basically give up my whole career and everything I've worked for."

Luke looked a little nervous. "I just thought you might want to take a step back. Not have to work so hard. I can certainly take care of you and the girls." He gave her a slick smile. "Come on, baby, we can work this out. Let's sit down and talk and I promise I'll listen and we'll work this out together."

Rayna stood for a moment, just looking at him. Then she pulled off the ring and held it out to him. "No, I don't think so."

Luke's eyes grew wide, then he frowned at her. "Is this because of Deacon? Because of that little family picture? You know, I see the way you look at him."

Rayna screwed up her face and shook her head. "No, this is not about Deacon. And I've really had enough of this competition you seem to have with him. I'm not a prize to be won. Or fought over." She walked towards him and, taking his hand, pressed the ring into his palm. "Look, I'm sorry. But I just don't feel right about this."

Luke glared at her. "You're a fool to give this up, Rayna. We could have been the true power couple of country music. But I should have known better. You can't truly commit to any other man. You had that pretend marriage with Teddy Conrad and I won't be a pretend marriage so you can cover up your feelings for Deacon Claybourne. I would never let you keep him in your back pocket like Teddy did."

Rayna fumed. "Get out!" she yelled. "_Get out!_" Her chest was heaving as she watched him turn and walk out the door, slamming it behind him. She turned and angrily paced through the den, breathing hard. Finally, she collapsed on the couch and put her head in her hands. There were no tears to be shed, but finally putting an end to things had drained her. _Now what? What do I do now?_

She got up and started walking through the house, opening the French doors and walking out to the pool. Anywhere but her bedroom. She walked back and stood in the kitchen, drumming her fingers on the granite counter. She sighed. Then she walked over to the stove and put on a kettle of water to heat. She spent time picking out a tea cup and putting the tea bag in. She glanced over at her phone and then looked away. When the water started boiling, she picked up the kettle and poured the water in the cup. As she waited for the tea to steep, she looked back at her phone. She walked over and picked it up. She pressed the on button and up popped the picture of the girls. She tapped her fingers on the counter, then shook her head, and put the phone back down.

Then finally, because she could stand it no longer, she walked back to her bedroom and immediately went to the drawer where the little drawstring bag lay. She hooked her fingers in the drawer pulls and then just stood there, not pulling them. Finally she pulled open the drawer. She breathed in slowly. She dropped her hands and smoothed them down her pants legs, over and over. Then she tentatively reached in and fished under a stack of panties and felt the bag. She slowly pulled it out and held it in her hand for a moment. She took a deep breath and then she opened it and let the ring fall out into her palm. She could scarcely breathe. She stared at it for a long moment, then closed her eyes. When she opened them back up, she put the ring back in the bag, buried it back where she'd found it, and firmly closed the drawer.


	3. Chapter 3

Rayna closed her eyes and leaned her head back, grasping the balcony rail, lifting her face to the morning sun. The last time she'd been in Europe was when she was a little girl. She and Tandy had gone to London with their parents. It had been so long ago, though, that she didn't remember a lot of it. But it was certainly different than being here.

She walked back over to the loveseat and sat down, drawing her legs up. She sighed deeply, but it was a sigh of contentment and not frustration. This place was amazing, a healing place for sure. And after everything that had happened, she definitely needed healing. She was ready to not be alone though. She wanted her family with her. She _needed_ her family with her. Now.

* * *

Tandy came over as soon as Rayna called. "Are you okay?" she asked, with concern.

"About breaking off the engagement? Yeah." She gave her sister a small smile. "I'm sure there's going to be some press about it. So we should be ready for it."

"What do you want to say?"

"Just that we decided the timing wasn't right and that I wish him well, blah, blah, blah." Rayna walked off towards the den, her arms crossed. "You'll handle that, right?

"Of course, sweetheart." Tandy took a deep breath. "I hate to ask this, but what about Deacon? He's going to hear about it. What are you going to do?"

Rayna turned around. "Right now, nothing. I just broke off my engagement. I don't need to jump into something else right now."

Tandy looked confused. "But I thought you said…"

"I know. But I'm just not ready. I don't know when I will be." She looked tired. "I just need some time."

In her heart, Rayna knew Deacon would wait. Not forever, maybe, but he'd give her some time. He wouldn't push. But he would know she'd taken a first positive step.

* * *

At the sound of the key in the door, Rayna got up and walked back in the room. When the door opened, she smiled happily, watching first Daphne, then Maddie, and finally Deacon, spill into the room. Deacon held up a cup holder filled with beverages. "We come bearing caffeine," he said, walking over to plant a kiss on her lips. "We thought we'd let you sleep in."

Maddie smiled and held up a bag. "And pastries. The ones you liked from yesterday."

Rayna grinned at her. "Just what I wanted!" she cried. "And thank you for letting me sleep in." She looked from Maddie to Daphne. "So where have y'all been?"

"Down at the beach!" Daphne cried. "Watching sailboarders! I want to do that, Mom. Deacon said to ask you."

Rayna raised her eyebrows at Deacon and he just smiled and shrugged. She looked back at Daphne. "I don't know, baby girl. It looks like it could be dangerous."

"Please, Mom, I want to try. I can take lessons. And I'll be careful, I promise." She turned her best pleading, puppy dog look on her mother.

Rayna looked at Deacon for support, but he just shook his head and smiled. Rayna sighed and looked back at Daphne. "We'll see," she said. "But right now, I really want one of those pastries."

The girls headed out to the balcony with the food and Rayna started to follow. Deacon reached for her and pulled her into an embrace. He nuzzled her neck, then kissed her. "Good morning," he whispered.

She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in to him. "I missed you when I woke up and you weren't here."

"I could hear the girls and thought I'd keep them busy so you could sleep a little longer. You seemed tired." He slid his hands down her back, then pulled back slightly to smirk at her. "Mmmm. I think we need a little alone time."

She knew he could tell she was naked under the caftan and that made her feel all warm inside. "I like how that sounds. But first I want to spend time with my family. At least for a little while." She smiled up at him.

Deacon kissed her again, covering her mouth with his. Then he leaned into her ear. "Your wish is my command," he whispered. "Mrs. Claybourne."

* * *

Rayna sat back in the loveseat on the balcony with her head on Deacon's shoulder and his arm around her. Maddie and Daphne sat across from them and sang a loud, raucous rendition of "Boys and Buses", Maddie playing the guitar Deacon had given her, which had become her most prized possession. She could feel Deacon's lips graze across her hair and his thumb run over her shoulder blade. The girls looked relaxed and happy, laughing and singing. When she and Deacon had told them they were getting married, both girls had cheered. She sighed happily and smiled, closing her eyes behind her sunglasses. This was all so absolutely perfect, exactly what she had dreamed of all those years ago. And exactly what she'd hoped for when she had gone to see Deacon after dealing with all the press in the wake of her broken engagement.

* * *

After she had ended things with Luke, she had felt a bit at loose ends. The break-up had been so unfriendly and it had left her feeling tense. She had tried to take the high road, but Luke had not, saying that she had been a tease, trapping him into proposing and then ultimately turning him down. Even though it irritated her that he had done that, letting people think he was brokenhearted, it confirmed for her that she'd made the right decision. A week after she had broken things off, Tandy had suggested that she get away. "Take a break. Go somewhere by yourself. Teddy, Deacon and I can look after the girls," she'd said.

Rayna had looked over at her sister. They had finally gotten past the awful break between the two of them and she was so grateful. Tandy had really been a rock for her during all of this. She reached for Tandy's hand. "Thanks. I actually do think getting away would be good, but I'd really like to take the girls with me."

Tandy nodded thoughtfully. "Well, that could be good too. A nice girls' getaway. I would suggest someplace off the grid. Where you can really let go and relax."

Rayna smiled. "Do you have a suggestion?"

Tandy smiled back. "Actually, I do. It's a little beach town in southern Spain. I went there a few years ago and it's just the most relaxing place ever. Just a lazy place to unwind."

Rayna nodded thoughtfully. "That could work."

"I'll make reservations for you and the girls at the place I stayed. Near the beach, very calming. Just let me know when you want to go."

It had seemed all settled. Tandy had left to go home but Rayna still felt at loose ends. The girls were at Teddy's. She paced through the house before she finally went to her bedroom and changed clothes. Then she picked up her purse and walked out the door.

* * *

She smiled to herself as she walked up to Deacon's front door. She had gone to his house many times since that night she'd laid herself bare and told him she loved him. Back before their lives had literally turned upside down, those had been happy times. These days she'd mostly been there for Maddie, but there had been a handful of times that she'd gone for other reasons. The air had always felt heavier when she was there, the atmosphere had always felt like it was waiting for something to happen. She hesitated as she approached the door, then reached out and knocked.

Deacon opened the door with a look of surprise. "Hey," he said, when he saw her.

She smiled. "Hey. Can I come in?"

He nodded and stepped back to let her in. "Yeah." She walked in and then turned back to face him. He looked at her carefully. "I'm sorry about what happened with Luke," he said.

She gave him a skeptical look. "No, you're not."

He smiled sheepishly. "You're right. I'm not."

"Well, I wanted to thank you for how patient you've been and how you haven't pushed me."

Deacon sighed. "You didn't have to come over here to tell me that."

"That's true." She took a few steps closer to him, then reached into the coin pocket of her jeans. She held out the ring he had given her the night Luke had proposed, the ring he'd given her all those years ago. She could see the surprise and confusion on his face. "I'd like for you to ask me again."

Deacon looked stunned. "What?"

"Ask me again," she said softly.

He slowly reached out and took the ring, then took her left hand and slowly slid it down her ring finger. He stepped in closer to her, their foreheads practically touching. "I want to be your husband," he whispered.

She looked up at him, tears pricking her eyes. She smiled shyly. "I want to be your wife," she whispered back. She lifted her head up and his lips met hers. And then his arms surrounded her and hers wrapped around his neck and the next thing she knew he had lifted her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom.

* * *

They hadn't wanted to wait. The next morning as they lay wrapped up in each other's arms, they talked about getting a marriage license and finding someone to marry them and then just doing it. As much as she had wanted to slow things down with Luke, once she'd made up her mind about Deacon, she wanted to marry him as soon as she could. They had gotten married in the way that suited them. Not the ostentatious celebration that Luke had wanted, but a quiet, private ceremony in Deacon's backyard with just the people that they loved with them. It was exactly what they'd wanted. And now they were in Tarifa. Off the grid, just them and their daughters. Just like Deacon had said. _It's Maddie and Daphne and you and me._

**THE END**


End file.
